When I first started this composition one course I had plenty of distractions. As I explained in my distractions blog. I think I did accomplish some of my goals. My goals where to stay away from my phone, don’t watch TV, stay off the internet, and stay away from others while I write my papers. I am able to stay away from my phone so I won’t text because my phone is on airplane mode. So if I get text messages or emails I won’t get them unless I turn my phone off airplane mode. Another goal I accomplished was staying away from the internet and the TV. I still talk to other people as I’m working but I am working on not doing that because I still get a little distracted. Next becoming a better writer was another goal for me. I believed I could become a better writer if I focused more on my paper instead of getting distracted. When I’m not distracted I focus better and I get good ideas so my paper will be good. Being a better writer is all about making process, I believe over these past couple of weeks I made good progress. My writings have gotten better I still need to work on my grammar. At the beginning of this composition one course I use to get distracted very easily by everything. Now that the course is over I barely get distracted and I am becoming a better writer. So I will say that I have accomplished my goals from the beginning of the course.

This I wonder

1.       Wrong sentence- I would always where a big sweater or hide my belly any way I could.(passive, grammar)

2.       Revised sentence- I wore a big sweater to hide my belly(active)

1.       Wrong sentence- The alarm is for when someone may try to kidnap a baby.(passive)

2.       Revised sentence- when a baby is taking from the hospital the alarm will activate. (active)

1.       Wrong sentence- I remember walking into prom and everybody just looked at my pregnant belly.(passive)

2.       Revised sentence- walking into prom while everyone just stared at my belly. (active)

This I Argue

1.       Wrong sentence- Once I paid my bills and other finances I barely had enough money to buy him food for the last week and half. (passive)

2.       Revised sentence- After the bills where paid and other finances I had no money left to buy him food for the next week.(active)

1.       Wrong sentence- Another idea is that the eligible requirements for SNAP benefits need to be lowered. (passive)

2.       Revised sentence- SNAP benefits eligibility and requirements should be lowered. (active)

1.       Wrong sentence-    Lowering the cost of fruits and vegetables so parents can buy it instead of buying junk food is another way to stop food desserts.(passive , run-on)

Revised sentence- Lowering fresh produce cost so parents can afford it. (active

This blog is about the structure of my This I Argue Essay and the resources I used to write my essay and a brief summary of what it’s about.

 

Thesis Statement- I believe there should be an increase of SNAP benefits.

Topic Sentences-

Paragraph1: One of my ideas is to increase SNAP benefits. Why, because even though people get food stamps sometimes that may on last them for about two or three weeks.

Paragraph2: Another idea is that the eligible requirements for SNAP benefits need to be lowered.

Paragraph3: Lowering the cost of fruits and vegetables so parents can buy it instead of buying junk food is another way to stop food desserts.

Paragraph4: These where just few ideas of how we can stop food insecurities and food desserts in America.

Source Material-

·         http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/02/14/172040074/documentary-a-place-at-the-table-is-a-call-to-action-on-hunger

·         http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program-snap

Summary-

Having to worry about where your next meal will come from or even if you will eat today is the worst feeling in the world. I don’t believe anybody should have to go hungry or starve to death. There are plenty of ways to stop America from starving. Think of all the children who are stuck in “food insecurities” and “food desserts” because companies don’t want to take fresh produce to the smaller cities. I believe we can stop this by starting with the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program first. This program need many changes such as increasing the amount of benefits, lowering the eligibility requirements. There are millions of people who need help and by changing the standards of SNAP can help many families who are in need.

Representative Robert Brady

Delaware County Office

1350 Edgemont Avenue, Suite 2575

Chester, PA 19013

Phone: (610) 874-7094

Fax: (484) 816-0029

 Dear Representative Robert Brady,

      

               Hunger in America is a big deal many people are dealing with food insecurities and food desserts. There are 50 million people who fall into the category of “food insecurities”. Not only are adults suffering but more importantly the children are suffering from empty bellies which are causing them stomach pains and many people can’t focus when their hungry. 1 in 6 children will depend on government assistance such as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program also known as SNAP. I believe there should be an increase in SNAP benefits. So I wanted to give some of my ideas of how I believe we can stop food insecurities.

          One of my ideas is to increase SNAP benefits. Why, because even though people get food stamps sometimes that may on last them for about two or three weeks. Now that they have lowered food stamps it’s even harder to feed your kids for the whole month. For instance I wasn’t getting that much since it was just me and my son and that would only last me and my son about two and a half weeks. Once I paid my bills and other finances I barely had enough money to buy him food for the last week and half. So my son had to eat noodles because they were cheap and all I could afford. I feel as though if families like mine had a little extra we wouldn’t have to worry about our kids going hungry.  

     Another idea is that the eligible requirements for SNAP benefits need to be lowered. There are many families who really need the help and they can’t get it because they made a dollar or two over the gross and net income. Usually those are the people who actually really needs it. The government must have forgotten that we are living human beings and we have other things to pay for. So once people pay for bills and other important things then their looking like now what do I have to feed my family with? No parent wants to see their children crying because they are hungry, and they can’t do anything about it. So if the government was to lower the benefits an extra thirty dollars that could help a lot.

    Lowering the cost of fruits and vegetables so parents can buy it instead of buying junk food is another way to stop food desserts. Being as though the SNAP benefits was cut in November of 2013 parents didn’t really have enough food stamps to buy healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables. They have to spend the money wisely and try to make it stretch and last as long as possible. Parents would buy chips and cookies before they buy healthy foods because they are cheaper. Junk food is not good for kids or does it fill a kid up. Junk food can only last about 30 minutes then the child is hungry again. Where healthy foods will fill a child up faster and they are healthier. So if the healthy foods wasn’t so high parents would buy healthy foods so kids can be healthy instead of overweight by the time they are 5.

       These where just few ideas of how we can stop food insecurities and food desserts in America. I just want to thank you Robert Brady from taking the time out of your day to hear my thoughts. Hopefully the government will take this in consideration and help those single moms and single dads with their families. So those 50 million people will no longer have to suffer from food insecurities or food desserts.

                -Sincerely, Aisha Brodie

Work Cited

A place at the table

Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program

v Should America provide more funding for SNAP? If so, how much of an increase? If not, how does the current funding seem appropriate? 

-I believe America should provide more funding for snap because many people really do need the help. I think they should increase it by at least 50 dollars.

v How should Americans define “food insecurity?” How should Americans define “starving? What solutions can Americans use to overcome food insecurity and starving in America?

-America should define food insecurity as being without reliable access to a sufficient quantity of affordable food. America should also define starving as suffers severely from the lack of food or someone who dies from hunger. I believe the situations they could use is having more food banks and dinners for those who are less fortunate.

v Do you live in a food desert? How can America feed people who live in food deserts?

-I live in Chester and I do not live in a food desert even though many others think people from Chester do. I have several markets not very far from my house it’s actually walking distance. We get fresh fruits and vegetables from those markets. America can feed people who live in food deserts by delivering the proper foods to people at least twice a month.

v Should America rely on charities to feed the hungry? How much of a reliance?

-America shouldn’t really rely on charities I believe that the government should feed the hungry. Not saying they should only just feed but at least help them get shelter or help them get there selves together.

v What are the most common myths and misconceptions about those who depend on food banks and other food assistance programs?

-There are many misconceptions about those who depend on food assistance programs such as food stamps, is that people are needy and just sit around on their butts all day. That’s not quite true a lot of people who do have food stamps have jobs that don’t pay them as much so once their bills are paid they may not have enough money for food. It’s also people who can’t get jobs because now a days it’s hard to get a job but at the end of the day they have kids to feed so they turn to food assistance programs for help.

       A Place At The Table is a nonfiction documentary on people who are starving in the United States.   In the United States there are 50million people who doesn’t have anything to eat or will not know where their next meal will come from. In this document they show the struggles of food insecurities of three people Rosie a fifth grader from Colorado, Barbie a single mother from Philly, and Tremonica a second grader from Mississippi who has asthma. A place at the table also shows how food hunger poses serious economic, social and cultural implications for our nation. That it could be solved once and for all, if the American public decides as they have in the past that making healthy food available and affordable is in the best interest of us all.

     Rosie is a fifth grader from Collbran, Colorado she doesn’t concentrate in school because she is hungry and her family cannot provide the proper foods for her. They tend to look for food from friends and neighbors. Or they even sometimes get food from food pantries. Her teacher notices her strange behavior because she was once one of those kids who didn’t know where their next meal would come from. Her teacher began helping out at a food bank and she would deliver bags of food to Rosie and her family’s house. She also delivered bags of food to other families in need.

       Barbie Izquierdo was a single mother from Philadelphia who grew up in poverty. Barbie struggled to feed her children when she had a job because she made too much at her job so she didn’t qualify for food stamps. When she got fired she reapplied for government assistance, in which she was granted daycare assistance and food stamps. Barbie along with other women in Philly became an advocate for hunger in the United States. She soon then got a full time job and the government cut off her government help. Now she struggles worst then she did when she was on government assistance.

     Lastly Tremonica is a second grader from Mississippi who suffers from asthma and her mother cannot afford to feed her properly. Tremonica’s health issues are exacerbated by the largely empty calories her hardworking mother can afford. Since vegetables and fruits are rarely too expensive for her mother to afford she settle for buying her daughter junk food. which is also causing her daughter to be obese for her age.

My blog post is about tuning my this I wonder essay into a found poem. a found poem is a type of poetry created by taking words or phrases and sometimes whole passages from other sources and reforming them as poetry.


I got pregnant at 15 years old, yea I was very young but whatever life goes on right?

I didn’t know what to do or who to tell so I kept my secret to myself.

Well except my best friend she knew because she was the one who dared me to take a pregnancy test in the first place.

Days went by and I still haven’t told anybody.

All I could think of was what people would think of me, shit I even thought about what my mother would do to me.

                           A month went by and I was sitting in my mom room doing my hair.

I remember I had on a purple tank top and my mom look at me and she asked was I pregnant.

I denied it and asked why she ask me that she said your breast look big and you been eating and sleeping a lot.

I was terrified to tell my mom.

Once she was done getting dressed she look at me and asked me again.

I sat there for a second then I just broke down and told her yes.

My mom was really upset at me she left the house and when she came back she didn’t even talk to me.

       Nobody knew I was pregnant besides my immediate family because I was too ashamed.

               I really didn’t want to deal with people judging me because I made a mistake.

Everybody makes mistakes and you have to learn from them.

When my son finally got here he was so tiny and I was scared to hold him.

It was hard at first being a mom and trying to go to school but I had to finish school.

A lot of people was saying I wasn’t going to graduate and on June 6, 2013.

I proved to everybody they was wrong about me, and that I was going to graduate.

When I look at my son I realize everything I do is for him he motivates me to continue going to school and get my degree and become better for the both of us.

I can’t imagine my life without my son today I am a proud mother.

 

 

 

                                  To parent or not to parent

         “Truth or dare” my best friend Carson asked. “Dare” I replied. “I dare you to take this pregnancy test’. “Oh no Carson I am not pregnant”. “You have been eating and sleeping a lot”. “I am not taking it”. “Just do it and stop being a baby”. “Fine” I took the test and waited five minutes. When the results finally popped up I was so shocked I didn’t believe it. I just looked at my best friend and gave her the test. She was just as shocked as I was.

         I got pregnant at 15 years old, yea I was very young but whatever life goes on right? I didn’t know what to do or who to tell so I kept my secret to myself. Well except my best friend she knew because she was the one who dared me to take a pregnancy test in the first place. Days went by and I still haven’t told anybody. All I could think of was what people would think of me, shit I even thought about what my mother would do to me. I mean I was still a baby myself. I didn’t even know how to take care of myself so how could I care for a child. A month went by and I was sitting in my mom room doing my hair. I remember I had on a purple tank top and my mom look at me and she asked was I pregnant. I denied it and asked why she ask me that she said your breast look big and you been eating and sleeping a lot. I was terrified to tell my mom. When I said no she didn’t say anything she continued getting dressed. Once she was done getting dressed she look at me and asked me again. I sat there for a second then I just broke down and told her yes. My mom was really upset at me she left the house and when she came back she didn’t even talk to me. She was pissed with me for a couple of days I mean who wouldn’t be mad their 15 year got pregnant.

            One day she called me in her room so we could talk. She asked what I was going to do. She suggested abortion but I never thought about it. I’m not really for it because I don’t think it’s fair to kill a innocent child when they didn’t asked to be here in the first place. My next option was adoption I could give my baby to someone that couldn’t have kids. My best friend mom couldn’t have any more kids so I thought why not let her adopt him. I thought how giving him up would effect not just me but my mother, my father and my sisters. My mom wasn’t really for the whole adoption idea because she just couldn’t imagining somebody else raising her grandchild. I realized it would have been hard for me going to my best friend house and seeing him so I decided against adoption. My only option left was to parent, I was scared because I didn’t know what to do. After I decided to keep him I hid the rest of my pregnancy.

           Nobody knew I was pregnant besides my immediate family because I was too ashamed. I would always where a big sweater or hide my belly any way I could. I really didn’t want to deal with people judging me because I made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes and you have to learn from them. My tenth grade prom was in May and I was due to give birth in August, at prom was when people found out. I remember walking into prom and everybody just looked at my pregnant belly. At first I was uncomfortable but it was nothing I could do about it. Everybody was shocked, nobody really was saying negative comments about me except this one girl. She would always say something smart about me being 15 and pregnant. It use to really get to me than I thought she is no better than me.

        When my son finally got here he was so tiny and I was scared to hold him. My nurses at the hospital made me do the first time mommy classes before I left the hospital. They showed me how to feed him, change his diapers, hold him properly and how to wash him up. Taking him home was very exciting because all of my family got to see him. It was hard at first being a mom and trying to go to school but I had to finish school. A lot of people was saying I wasn’t going to graduate and on June 6, 2013 I proved to everybody they was wrong about me , and that I was going to graduate. When I look at my son I realize everything I do is for him he motivates me to continue going to school and get my degree and become better for the both of us. I always wonder how my life would be without my son. I honestly think I would be out of control because I was always the problem child, and when I got pregnant I had calmed down a lot. I can’t imagine my life without my son today I am a proud mother.

To parent or not to parent

           A time in my life where I had to make a difficult decision was when I became pregnant with my son. I got pregnant at 15 years old, yea I was very young but whatever life goes on right? I didn’t know what to do or who to tell so I kept my secret to myself. Well except my best friend she knew because she was the one who dared me to take a pregnancy test in the first place. Days went by and I still haven’t told anybody. All I could think of was what people would think of me, shit I even thought about what my mother would do to me. I mean I was still a baby myself. I didn’t even know how to take care of myself so how could I care for a child. A month went by and I was sitting in my mom room doing my hair. I remember I had on a purple tank top and my mom look at me and she asked was I pregnant. I denied it and asked why she ask me that she said your breast look big and you been eating and sleeping a lot. I was terrified to tell my mom. When i said no she didn’t say anything she continued getting dressed. Once she was done getting dressed she look at me and asked me again. I sat there for a second then I just broke down and told her yes. My mom was really upset at me she left the house and when she came back she didn’t even talk to me. She was pissed with me for a couple of days I mean who wouldn’t be mad their 15 year got pregnant. One day she called me in her room so we could talk. She asked what I was going to do. She suggested abortion but I never thought about it. I’m not really for it because I don’t think it’s fair to kill a innocent child when they didn’t asked to be here in the first place. My next option was adoption I could give my baby to someone that couldn’t have kids. My best friend mom couldn’t have any more kids so I thought why not let her adopt him. I thought how giving him up would effect not just me but my mother, my father and my sisters. My mom wasn’t really for the whole adoption idea because she just couldn’t imagining somebody else raising her grandchild. I realized it would of been hard for me going to my best friend house and seeing him so I decided against adoption. My only option left was to parent, I was scared because I didn’t know what to do. After I decided to keep him I hid the rest of my pregnancy. Nobody knew I was pregnant besides my immediate family because I was too ashamed. I would always where a big sweater or hide my belly any way I could. I really didn’t want to deal with people judging me because I made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes and you have to learn from them. My tenth grade prom was in May and I was due to give birth in August, at prom was when people found out. I remember walking into prom and everybody just looked at my pregnant belly. At first I was uncomfortable but it was nothing I could do about it. Everybody was shocked, nobody really was saying negative comments about me except this one girl. She would always say something smart about me being 15 and pregnant. It use to really get to me then I thought she is no better than me. When my son finally got here he was so tiny and I was scared to hold him. My nurses at the hospital made me do the first time mommy classes before I left the hospital. They showed me how to feed him, change his diapers, hold him properly and how to wash him up. Taking him home was very exciting because all of my family got to see him. It was hard at first being a mom and trying to go to school but I had to finish school. A lot of people was saying I wasn’t going to graduate and on June 6, 2013 I proved to everybody they was wrong about me , and that I was going to graduate. When I look at my son I realize everything I do is for him he motivates me to continue going to school and get my degree and become better for the both of us.

         “Truth or dare” my best friend Carson asked. “Dare” I replied. “I dare you to take this pregnancy test’. “Oh no Carson I am not pregnant”. “You have been eating and sleeping a lot”. “I am not taking it”. “Just do it and stop being a baby”. “Fine” I took the test and waited five minutes. When the results finally popped up I was so shocked I didn’t believe it. I just looked at my best friend and gave her the test. She was just as shocked as I was.

         I got pregnant at 15 years old, yea I was very young but whatever life goes on right? I didn’t know what to do or who to tell so I kept my secret to myself. Well except my best friend she knew because she was the one who dared me to take a pregnancy test in the first place. Days went by and I still haven’t told anybody. All I could think of was what people would think of me, shit I even thought about what my mother would do to me. I mean I was still a baby myself. I didn’t even know how to take care of myself so how could I care for a child. A month went by and I was sitting in my mom room doing my hair. I remember I had on a purple tank top and my mom look at me and she asked was I pregnant. I denied it and asked why she ask me that she said your breast look big and you been eating and sleeping a lot. I was terrified to tell my mom. When I said no she didn’t say anything she continued getting dressed. Once she was done getting dressed she look at me and asked me again. I sat there for a second then I just broke down and told her yes. My mom was really upset at me she left the house and when she came back she didn’t even talk to me. She was pissed with me for a couple of days I mean who wouldn’t be mad their 15 year got pregnant.